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So a lot has happened in the past few months..
Gemini, my sweet sweet 7 month old puppy, died 2 weeks after Ratdog did.. and we have no idea as to why. She was fine and healthy one minute then dead the next. The vet thinks it may have been a heart attack or something. I miss her so much.
And Dillon almost died a few weeks ago from extreme alcohol poisoning.
Rich and I had a huge blow-out.. I was so pissed that I drove out to stay at my dad's at 2 in the morning while Rich drove to the hospital to be with Dillon. It was a really ugly fight over nothing.. but I'm pretty much over it now.
Dustin and I finally broke up last week.. 3 days before Valentine's Day, and I'm really happy to be single again.. and I plan to keep it that way for a while, so I can fully get my life together.
I've been looking into schools to go to become a professional make-up and special effects artist. It looks like I may be moving out of state soon for it. I'm aiming for California, New York, or Vegas. But I'm also thinking about Chicago and Arizona as well. If I move to Arizona I'll at least have family there.. it's just that I don't know my mom's cousin that well. Although I suppose I could always move to Huston and look for my Grandfather.. NOT! I guess my Grandmother found him a few years ago and he told her he wanted nothing to do with my mother or my uncles.. I doubt the man even knows my brother and I exist.. or cares. I just think it's sad that I've never been able to meet my only living Grandfather.
I've been feeling really strange lately. I guess it's just that time of year.. I hate spring, but it's always been a time of year that I get these strange build-ups of energy.. and start getting drawn to certain things.. and places. I start getting urges to be outside more, I start to crave the woods and nature. I get restless and start going on long walks at night. I get these really intense feelings, like I've forgotten something major but I'm just on the verge of remembering it again. I get this terrible feeling of never ending deja'vu, and it really drives me nuts! Smells, sounds, the feeling of rain on my face, a certain way the wind blows, ALL OF IT! It all triggers these feelings, it has for years, and I don't know why. Sometimes, when this happens, I start to feel anxious and it gets a little hard to breathe..
I've gotten the same feelings in certain places on my summer trips with my parents when I was a kid.. Salem, Boston, New Orleans, Yellowstone, San Francisco, New Mexico.. all over. I'm even starting to get urges to return to this places. I guess I'm trying to start with Boston and Salem since they're closer.. I'm trying to save up money and get some friends together to go on a road trip with me this summer.. we'll see how that goes though.
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